Red Lobster

The biggest draw of the three-story Red Lobster in Times Square (besides the unlimited Cheddar Bay Biscuits, of course) is that dining here can make you forget you’re actually in Times Square. The huge dining room on the top floor doesn’t have any windows, so instead of being stared down by a model on a 20-foot Gap billboard, you can relax in a booth surrounded by nautical decor, gazing out through a faux porthole. The dramatic overhead spotlights will make the butter on your face look like a dewy, natural glow. This won’t be the best seafood you’ll ever eat—and your server might periodically forget you exist—but you’re here for an afternoon of reckless abandon, with neon blue margaritas as big as your head, rounds of well-breaded coconut shrimp (go for the $30 endless option), and a lobster bib you’ll wear with pride.